Finding Myself

Two years ago today I flew into Kywait. The past two years have been full of joy and heartache, lost friends, and learning. I originally joined the army as a way to find myself, to find what I am made of, to discover my true self. Four years later, I'm not sure if I am any closer to that goal than I was the day I signed my contract. I have discovered many things I am capapble of doing, from surviving 150 degree Baghdad summers to changing a transmission in a military truck. I have discovered that I can survive a week without a shower. I have learned that I can do anything I set my mind to.

But have I found myself? Have I found who I truly am? Have I found out what I want to do in my life? As most of you know, I will be heading home in a month. I am, for lack of better words, scared as to how I will cope with being home. After two years of being told what to do every day, of having every last minute of my day planned for me, how am I going to adjust to a life of disorganization, waking up whenever I want, doing whatever I want, getting in my truck and just driving? I do not have these freedoms where I am. I wonder if I will be able to accept them, to not have to drive down the road wondering if someone is going to try and kill me. Only time shall tell if I will be able to survive my demons. I do not have many of them, but I have enough of them...