Waxing Philosophical

So lately, I have been looking back and reflecting upon the choices in my life. Are they true to myself as well as true to others? Remaining true to oneself is the single most important thing that you can ever do. You can lie to others as much as you want, but the minute you begin lying to yourself you have just set yourself down a road which there is no turning back. I guess after that statement I should stop telling myself I am sexy... Dang it... Alas, I digress and need to get back to the actual subject. I have noticed that over the past two years in a combat zone that my typing skills have greatly improved. I guess wars cannot go on without cooks who can type and do admin jobs. I digress yet once more. Have I been true to myself in all my choices, telling myself that my decisions in life have been the correct ones? It seems as if everyday things come to light that make me believe I have been misleading myself, trying to make everything seem as if it is ok, when in reality it isn't. I realize that there isn't much I can do with all of this stuff whilst being 8000 miles away, but it still does nothing to help the absolute sense of helplesness. My mothers water heater went out, and I offered to get her a new one, but she is too stubborn, too resilient to be offered a handout and accept it. That is not the true issue at hand, but it is one of the smaller issues that compound and seem to make the larger issue worse. The world is spinning out of control and I don't know how to fix it. Maybe I never did, but at least once I thought I did. All of those false imaginings are now gone and I see the world for what it is. Something that I have no control over. We cannot correct the choices we have made in life, we can only try to make better ones in the future. Am I going to make a better choice off of the lessons I have learned? History shows us that most likely, the answer is no. History seems to have a way of repeating itself with consequences that reach far beyond anything we might be able to imagine. The impact of man on the world amazes me, as we have become a civilization who at one time revered the earth, for it was the provider of life and sustainment, but now it appears to be an object of disdain. I am learning more and more life lessons everyday, but my question is will my next decision be the right one? What if it isn't? What happens next?